My character has never been tested like this before. I’ve been feeling a bit like a lot of stuff has been happening to push me over the edge, and make me loose my cool, to expose the ugly side of me.
The truth is, I used to be completely out of control. I was standing on the edge everyday, and any small little thing would push me over – I had no control over my emotions, or mouth, and it was completely conflicting for me, because I’ve always been a little bit of a control freak – being out of control was extremely frustrating for me.
After I gave my life to Jesus, I remember there being a time after Darren and I had just met, that I had a horrible fight with my brother in front of him. I remember my mind going blank, and standing at the door screaming at my brother at the top of my voice. I also remember feeling so embarrassed for losing it like that in front of “the church boy” (lol).
He didn’t say anything to judge me or make me feel like I was wrong, he just sat with me for a short while after, and then went home. Later that evening, he had said that he couldn’t imagine speaking to his sister the way my brother and I had spoken to each other that day – but he later came to realise the kind of relationship that my brother and I have. Not too long after that incident, our Pastor had preached about how to overcome temptation. He just said “Anytime you feel that the devil is tempting you with anything, just say: Jesus is Lord, and the devil will flee.”
I promise you, few things helped me to overcome temptation the way that piece of advice did. Any time I felt the anger rising up inside of me, I would just say “Jesus is Lord”, any time I felt like the opportunity to compromise my purity presented itself, I would just say “Jesus is Lord”, and just like that, the desire would flee.
About 2 weeks ago (while I was fasting), I had a meeting, and what had come out of it had really upset me. I walked out of there relieved that we had cleared the air, but still upset about what had come up in this meeting. I was angry, my ears were hot, and I could feel the anger rising up inside of me. I went to the shop to get some groceries straight after that meeting, and then made my way home.
I had parked in a bay that was a bit tricky to get out of because of how it’s situated close to the entrance of the shopping centre. I started reversing, but when I checked my blind spot, I noticed a lady walking with her 2 kids about 3 metres away from me, so I stopped. She looked like she was about to spit fire, she rushed up to my car, kids in hand, and furiously banged on my window. “HEY! Can’t you see me walking here?! I have kids!! F**k man!!”
Right there and then, already standing on the edge after that meeting, I had to make a decision – do I stoop down to this woman’s level, or take the high road? In that moment, I remembered that I was fasting, and that my body is holy. I just looked at her, and didn’t say a thing. I didn’t even open my window to entertain her. The look on her face was priceless. She was shocked, and honestly, so was I! Indeed Jesus was my Lord in that moment. I felt so good about myself when I drove out of there, I knew that I was the better person, but most importantly, I had represented my Lord well.
Today, I’d like to encourage you to take the high road. It isn’t ever easy, but I can’t tell you how rewarding it is when you overcome your flesh and emotions.
Thank you for coming by 🙂 I’d love to hear from you, leave your thoughts below!