For the passed couple of weeks, I’ve been battling quite a bit with my self worth – questioning it. What am I worth to so and so? Why do they think so little of me? I thought that I would mean more to someone that I grew up with.

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Polar neck: Pnp clothing. Biker Jacket: Jay Jay’s. Skirt: Gifted. Tights and handbag: H&M. Boots: Makro

For a few days, these thoughts consumed me, and made me really sad. To be honest, if I think about it too long, it still makes me really sad. I had to take my head out of that zone and realise what was really happening here. I was real with myself, and I realised that I am about to enter a new season, and when you’re about to enter into something new, you often have to face your past before you can move into that new season.

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But I didn’t want to face it, not yet anyway. I pushed all the hurt and thoughts to the back of my mind, and carried on with whatever I had to do. Until yesterday. We were in church, and we were singing this song called “no longer slaves to fear”. It talks about how we are free from fear, no longer captives, we are now children of God.

I am a child of God.

You have no idea how it feels, as an orphan, to have someone call you their child – and mean it. I am God’s child. I am not fatherless or parentless. I have a parent, a father! I am not alone, no longer rejected. I am His child. In that moment, I felt His love, His acceptance, His warmth with me, and I just let it go.

The rejection, the hurt, the family that were supposed to love me, but chose not to. I just them go, and let Him have me, and I’ve never felt more free.

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Thank you to my husband for these pictures

I know that there is a lot of hurt tucked away in all of us, unspeakable hurt. Many of us have been hurt by the very people that were meant to protect and shelter us, some of us harbour hurt against God Himself.

It’s really, really difficult to deal with, and confront these feelings, trust me, I know. But today, I’d like to encourage you – the reward behind the confrontation and release is more than you could ever imagine or dream. Work through it, and give it to Him. You will find joy unspeakable. You are worth it.

Thank you for coming by <3

Arlene

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