I’ve said time and time again, that my life is not for myself. Honestly and truly, my heart’s desire is to live a life worthy of Christ, and that often means pouring myself out for others.
The thing about pouring out is.. that you need to have something inside of you to be able to be emptied out. I can be honest here, right? Of course I can! I always am honest with you all here. I’ve been feeling a little, ok, a lot empty lately.
Between finding my feet as a new mama, wife, and over all just being a human lately, it’s been challenging to spend time in prayer, worship and the Word. Don’t get me wrong, I do pray, but just not as much as I should be.
I realised just how empty I was when a friend had confided in me about what she had been going through. The truth is, I could sense that something was going on, but I was being selfish. I thought, this is my season, surely I can focus on myself for once!
I realise that there is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself in a specific season that you’re in, but that doesn’t mean that you need to be selfish, or self absorbed. The lesson that I learnt through the experience with this friend is that, being selfish is unfulfilling, and honestly, it’s a really lonely place too.
After some reflection, I realised that unknowingly I had been filling myself with the wrong kind of stuff. Lately, it’s been easier to listen to the radio than listen to praise and worship music. It’s been easier to watch 10 episodes of Discovery ID back to back online, than watch a sermon that would help fill me up and lift my spirits. I realised that the end result of my selfishness, is the sum of me spending time in things that add no value to me, my life, my marriage, and even my relationship with my son!
Today, I made the decision to not entertain or do anything that doesn’t add any value to me, or my Spirit. Do I like watching Discovery ID? Of course! I love making my own assumptions about why serial killers kill! (Strange, but true.) But watching 10 episodes back to back is overkill, and can actually be really depressing.
Tomorrow, I want to be more valuable than I am today. Tomorrow, I want to be wiser than I am today. Tomorrow, I want to be better.
But for today, I want to challenge you. What are you doing with your precious time that is just not adding any value to you? It may just be the root of a nagging issue you just can’t figure out.
Today, I’d like to challenge you to be better, you deserve to give yourself the best, and you deserve to love yourself well.
Thanks for stopping by!