The other day, I was so frustrated with Darren. I just needed a little help around the house and all he would say was no. No to helping with the dishes, no to making Ezra a sandwich, no to anything I asked!
I understand that he was tired, but it was so frustrating, I just needed a hand and whatever he said no to doing, ultimately fell into my lap. I swallowed my tongue and held back what I really wanted to say and did what had to be done. The next day, I was still irritated by his lack of help, and I lashed out when he asked what was wrong.
“Do you realise that everything you say “no” to, I have to say “yes” to?! I’m not a slave!”
We resolved our little tiff, but what I had said really got me thinking. Not about Darren or me, but about how many times I myself have said no to what I thought could be an instruction from God. And then I realised, whatever I’ve said “no” to, someone else MUST say “yes”, because the work of God has to be done.
Have you ever had an idea and didn’t have the guts to act on it, and then a few months or years later, you see someone else has done what you wanted to do, and worse, they’re making good money off of it? I think many of us have been there.
There have been so many times when I feel led by the Holy Spirit to do something, and I think “Oh no Lord, I can’t do that. What will people think, what will people say?!” When I don’t do what I feel led to do, it’s often disasterous.
A few years ago, a part of my inheritance that had been stolen from me had been repaid at the most unexpected time. This was an incredible breakthrough for Darren and I in the very first year of our marriage.
I was so excited because I had been believing God for some big thing financially during that time. When the money came, we were ecstatic. We tithed, and paid off some debt. And then, because I was a bullheaded stubborn new wife, I didn’t listen to my husband and ended up squandering what was left of that money. I was such a poor steward of the blessing God had given me because of my disobedience and stubbornness. Today, I still feel the sting of that disobedience when I look at what we could have done with that money.
There have also been times when I’ve given God my best yes! Like when I decided to write my book. It was a difficult decision to make, and I didn’t want to do it. If it were up to me I wouldn’t have went ahead with it, but the instruction from God was clear and strong and I did what I had to do. Even though it was met with mixed reactions and criticism, I made my heart strong and continue to pursue what He wants me to do.
I’ve learnt that the price of disobedience is so, so high. When you feel led to do something, it may seem to big for you to do on your own, and it probably is – that’s why you need to lean on God to see it through.
A lot of the time I’m actually really doubtful; was that really from God? What if that’s my own desire? What if it doesn’t work out?
The best thing I’ve ever done was throw caution to the wind and write my book. If someone decides to sue me, that’s ok, Gods got my back! LOL. If it didn’t work out, that’s ok! At least I tried. At least I could sit back in a few years and say that I really gave it my all. It would be better than wondering about what could have been if I had been brave enough to go through with it.
Giving God a strong yes was not easy. I had to abandon all logic and common sense and just go through with it, and even though its still pretty early days, I’ve seen the fruit, and it was all worth it. All the tears, feelings of rejection and judgement, and the loving arms of my Daddy comforting me through it was all worth it.
I’ve heard it so many times “Obedience is better than sacrifice”, and its true! But that doesn’t make it easy. Being obedient will challenge and stretch you to the most uncomfortable places – but you will grow, you will prosper and you will see the hand of God in your life.
1 Samuel 15: 22 But Samuel replied “What is more pleasing to the Lord; your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and stubbornness as bad as worshipping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.”